?> ASE Labs: My Original Naruto Fan Fiction, Eye of the Storm(No, really, I mean the FIRST version of this fan fic, it is very short)

My Original Naruto Fan Fiction, Eye of the Storm(No, really, I mean the FIRST version of this fan fic, it is very short)

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Hiyayaka "The bird wishes to be free from it's cage but is Joined: April 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 719 Rep:

My Original Naruto Fan Fiction, Eye of the Storm(No, really, I mean the FIRST version of this fan fic, it is very short)

Sat May 24, 2008 4:44:18 PM #54313 Perm Link

I'll start with basic info on it, thenI will add the prologue soon...
The Protagonist is the 8 year old Yama, this story follows through his complete story(though skipping year here and there) all the way to the age of... 21 I think...
Yama is a skilled Academy Student at the beginning and quickly progress throughout the story

The storm village is where this story takes place, though Yama is not a citizen of the Storm, he was found after a Ninja war when the Storm Village's original leader lead an all out strike against the 4 main ninja villages, The Storm village is known for it's extremely skilled Ninja, though there were not many, most of them lived up to the skill of a kage, most of these were wiped out in this Ninja war, and the old ruler was replaced by a new peaceful one, now rivalries are spurring up and the Storm village is falling ever closer into chaos...

Edited at Sun May 25, 2008 3:11:12 AM

The Prince of Fangs

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Hiyayaka "The bird wishes to be free from it's cage but is Joined: April 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 719 Rep:

(No Title)

Sat May 24, 2008 7:11:29 PM #54417 Perm Link

Prologue: 3 days ago....
Raiten had been walking through the woods right around when the war had ended, he was still a student and breaking the rules just being out here, he was 9 years old and wore a long t shirt, and black baggy pants his hair was red and spiked back, but he loved it out here, the wind and the grass... it was great he thought to himself out loud as he walked into a clearing, it had been oddly snowing today and raiten had found it wierd, so he had headed out this way in the direction of where it was coming from, he looked around in the clearing, it was the only area with snow on it but the only area that was NOT snowing, he turned around to see a bloody battered kid his age lieing on the ground asleep, the kid had gray wildly spiked hair and large canines, he wore a long gray cloak covering his body and basic white clothing, he was obviously a student of another village but... he didnt look like the village was anywhere nearby,
"shit! hey kid are u alright? kid? Kid!? shoot im bringing u back to the village" Raiten grabs the kids arm hoists him up and begins dragging him to Raiten's Home Village, the kid slept for a while not waking up at all, he showed signs of a coma, they had healed him but he still hadnt woken up....

The Prince of Fangs

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Hiyayaka "The bird wishes to be free from it's cage but is Joined: April 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 719 Rep:

(No Title)

Sat May 24, 2008 7:11:42 PM #54418 Perm Link

Chapter 1... Yama Awakens!
Raiten sat through class thinking about what had happened to the kid he failed the test that day and messed up every transform he tired, the teacher walked over "ur concentration is off anything u wanna talk about... look if its about that kid u found in the woods dont worry he'll be fine the medical crew already said that remember," Raiten continued to mess up the transform the teacher cam over again "look... raiten if u can master transform by the end of the day ill take u to see him...", this eased raiten a little but he still couldnt help but doubt what sensei was telling him, he had found the kid all battered up it looked as though he was starved... how could someone like that be Okay? then he began to gain confidence realizing if that kid could live then he could master transform, he practiced for the next two hours and finally was able to perform transform 100% of the time and even use substitution 50% of the time, as promised sensei drove him their "i told ur mom she is gunna pick u up in 30 minutes k?" he runs off and raiten begins to walk up and go inside, he walks over to the receptionist and asks to see the wierd child, he is then lead there and walks into the room slowly and surprisingly the kid is sitting in the bed eatting bowl after bowl of ramen he had already eaten about 30 bowls and counting he turned over still eating and said "yo ur the guy who saved me huh? u dont look very strong" finsishes the bowl and sticks his tongue out. raiten clenched his fists "shut up im strong and ill beat everyone if u think i cant JUST WATCH ME" The kid stares into raitens eyes, the kid noticed the determination in raitens green eyes, "oi my name's Yama, Yama Yurenshi By the way... and if u think your so tough how bout a fight i mean we're both students there no difference between us i bet ill win too, i wanna do it now but... the nurse said i cant leave until three days has passed so we will fight then kay dude?" Raiten clenched his fists harder "ill beat u and then ill rise to the top! no matter what it takes" Yama ignores him and begins eating, raiten starts to get angry then hears his mother and runs off down back to the room and leaves yama looks out the window "he reminds me of something" he said to a nurse while pointing out the window at raiten "but... i dont remember anything where am i?"

The Prince of Fangs

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Hiyayaka "The bird wishes to be free from it's cage but is Joined: April 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 719 Rep:

(No Title)

Sat May 24, 2008 7:13:06 PM #54419 Perm Link

Chapter 2: A Students Training!
"Maito Sensei U have to train me i wanna be stronger so i can fight that kid" Raiten Pleaded, "Alright but ur gunna have to try extra hard, lets first master ur clone technigue and how to use weapons better"Maito Sensei trains the determined boy, This boy really is something hes determined enough that hes already about 15 classes ahead of every other student he could become great one day "Maito Sensei?" Raiten Poked him on the forehead "maito?" "o what? im sorry i was thinking" Maito Said, "i got 5 bullseyes with shurikens needles and kunais just like u said and i can make 3 good clones Now can u teach me something good?" Raiten asked. Maito looked and surely enough there were 5 bullseyes, "alright watch this... HAZE CLONE!" 15 Clones Appear in a poof of Hazey Mist "now u try,", Maito sat back down and laid there for a few hours, when he woke up raiten was still practicing If only he were like this normally... o well. raiten had already gotten 10 haze clones he needed to do till 5 more appeared... he was exhausted from the amount of chakra he used and tried one more time, this time 12 came but he fell unconcious Maito smiled at the sleeping boyThat'll be enough for today i better get him home... Maito picked the boy up and walked off towards raitens house... Raiten Woke up and got out of bed... hed fallen asleep and missed dinner... he hungerly walked downstairs and grabbed a large breakfast eating it on the way to school, he met up with Zeitarruu a fellow studenta year older then raiten "oi whats up u been practicing pretty hard lately whats up?" Raiten: nothing..." walks off hands in pockets he came into the school and the teacher walked over to him "good job uve already mastered everythin there is to master for the next 2 months,now take the day off...." Maito said "BUT WHY?!" raiten protested angrily, Maito bends down and whispers "go out by the park and meditate ur chakra there for today ntil i get there tomorrow your gunna need it for the next things also master haze clone" raiten wlaked out of school and went to the park itonly tooke him mabe an hour to master haze clone and for the next 10 hours he meditated his chakra into one area waiting for maito sensei Raiten Sat waiting, he had finished meditating hours ago and was bored, he had been throwing kunais and needles and shurikens, nearly everyone hit there mark, a few minutes later Maito Appears "Alright! first *pulls out white blank cards* we are gunna see what ur chakra affinity/ies are!" Walks over to raiten and puts the wind one on, it glows showing he had wind, then lightning, then water, then ice then moon and finally some sort of unknown element* "wow u got a LOT of element ^^ well lets get started shall we"

PLEASE NOTE: These are the first ones I did, this was FIVE MONTHS ago that I made this one, this means that it is NOWHERE NEAR my current level of writing

I will have the REAL fan fic up in another thread soon as I find it X___X

The Prince of Fangs

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Kumori Joined: May 15, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 2395 Rep:

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Tue May 27, 2008 10:05:22 AM #55620 Perm Link

Random Post.
Sup All.

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Hiyayaka "The bird wishes to be free from it's cage but is Joined: April 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 719 Rep:

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Tue May 27, 2008 12:07:53 PM #55659 Perm Link

Oh, btw I shortened it into computer speech cuz I was lazy Razz

Razz

I like it better in regular speech... but you don't need me to translate it... Do you?
... *Death glare*

The Prince of Fangs

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For there to be light there must be darkness Joined: May 8, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 1210 Rep:

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Tue May 27, 2008 12:31:13 PM #55668 Perm Link

yeha yama i remember this one you were on listal right.

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Hiyayaka "The bird wishes to be free from it's cage but is Joined: April 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 719 Rep:

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Tue May 27, 2008 2:52:45 PM #55708 Perm Link

Yeah, I put this one on Listal XP

Good memory

The Prince of Fangs

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For there to be light there must be darkness Joined: May 8, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 1210 Rep:

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Tue May 27, 2008 3:19:34 PM #55713 Perm Link

yeah it was great there untill prelude became a mod

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Hiyayaka "The bird wishes to be free from it's cage but is Joined: April 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 719 Rep:

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Tue May 27, 2008 3:26:22 PM #55718 Perm Link

Yeah, well I g2g, see ya later Koji, nice talking to you after such a while

gotta eat XP

The Prince of Fangs

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For there to be light there must be darkness Joined: May 8, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 1210 Rep:

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Tue May 27, 2008 3:28:24 PM #55720 Perm Link

yeah same here

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Kumori Joined: May 15, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 2395 Rep:

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Tue May 27, 2008 3:33:26 PM #55723 Perm Link

Random Post.
Sup All.

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Hiyayaka "The bird wishes to be free from it's cage but is Joined: April 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 719 Rep:

(No Title)

Tue May 27, 2008 4:00:25 PM #55745 Perm Link

Sup

I'll try and look for the real fan fic, but I am not having any luck finding the damn thing... I forgot the file name I save it under... I'll just redo the stupid thing...

IThis one is just a taster of the real one btw, I never finished it because I disliked the writing style

The Prince of Fangs

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Kumori Joined: May 15, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 2395 Rep:

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Tue May 27, 2008 4:07:25 PM #55747 Perm Link

Aww.

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Hiyayaka "The bird wishes to be free from it's cage but is Joined: April 23, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 719 Rep:

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Tue May 27, 2008 4:17:27 PM #55751 Perm Link

Lol, it will have a similar starting, just much longer and better detailed...

and I'll make it clearer by entering everytime a dialect starts... lol

The Prince of Fangs

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Kumori Joined: May 15, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 2395 Rep:

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Tue May 27, 2008 8:09:34 PM #55778 Perm Link

Good for you.

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For there to be light there must be darkness Joined: May 8, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 1210 Rep:

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Wed May 28, 2008 4:40:09 AM #55826 Perm Link

yeah this was a good fanfic and it set up a great chracter in roleplaying. I always loved how you could travel forward or back in time. meaning your guy has probably met every version of Koji since he has had hundreds of lives

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Elementary Joined: May 12, 2008 Status: Offline Posts: 12821 Rep:

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Wed May 28, 2008 5:06:08 AM #55838 Perm Link

althuogh I hate to agree with this dooshbag I am your friend and i have to say its better then my fanfic way to go hayayaka

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